See You On The Other Side
Meet Leah and Christine. Busy moms and entrepreneurs just trying to balance this crazy thing called life. But we don't do surface, and we're definitely not your typical momtrepreneurs...so let's go a little deeper. Empaths, traumatic childhoods, generational trauma, people pleasers, toxic relationship patterns, anxiety, depression, feeling stuck and desperately seeking peace and happiness. And then we fell into the world of magic mushrooms and psychedelics. The catalyst that helped us break out of our comfort zones and took us DEEP into our personal healing journeys. We'll take you behind the scenes as we learn more about the holistic side of healing and all the amazing people we plan on meeting along the way. Join us as we share the good, the bad, and the ugly side of healing. With and without psychedelics. We hope to see you on the other side! Note: We are not professionals and we do not advise the use of illegal substances. For more about psychedelic support or clinical trials in your area, visit https://psychedelic.support/
See You On The Other Side
90 | Finding the Wild Woman Within (with Meg Sylvester)
What happens when a radiant Gemini like Meg embraces the duality of her nature? You’ll find out as we welcome Meg, a social media sensation whose journey of joy and play has captured many hearts. Meg shares how she balances her playful and contemplative sides, and why maintaining a lighthearted perspective is crucial for spiritual growth. Together, we challenge societal expectations and highlight the necessity of joy, laughter and pleasure in our spiritual journeys.
Ever wondered what it truly means for women to reclaim their pleasure? This episode is a powerful exploration of the journey towards self-pleasure and empowerment. We discuss breaking free from societal conditioning, the stigma surrounding women's pleasure, and how pleasure is connected to abundance. Personal stories reveal the shift from seeking external validation to finding intrinsic joy and the empowerment that comes from owning one’s desires and boundaries.
Join us as we explore the diverse female archetypes, the maiden, the mother and the crone. With a special focus on the lesser known wild woman. From redefining intimacy in long-term relationships to tackling the challenges of discussing sexuality openly, especially as a married mother, we leave no stone unturned. We also touch on the censorship faced on social media and the importance of having diverse voices in conversations about pleasure and intimacy. This episode is a celebration of authenticity, self-discovery, and the joy that comes from embracing one’s true self.
Follow Meg here: www.instagram.com/meghansylvester
And here: https://beacons.ai/meghansylvester
The Book Of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd: https://amzn.to/46mD6to
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Welcome back everyone to another episode of See you on the Other Side. I am here with Meg. I don't know what that beep was. I don't either.
Speaker 2:Okay we're just going to go with it.
Speaker 1:We are here with Meg today and I am so excited to introduce her to all of you guys. I found Meg I don't know probably six months ago and one of the reasons why I resonated with her social media platform is because it was just fun, like your page brings so much joy and positivity and laughter, and like I really resonated with it and related to it and so, hello, meg, resonated with it and related to it and so hello, meg, hello, we are so happy to have you on here. But, like I said, like all of your social media is so very free spirited and upbeat and positive and there's, I feel, like a lot of laughter and joy and can you kind of share with the listeners, like a little bit about you and like your journey?
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, so I'm a Gemini and I feel like Gemini gets a really bad rap on any astrology page because on the surface level people see twins and they're immediately like kind of they go into like mean girl programming of, like oh, that must mean two-faced or flaky, and and so a lot of people just quickly interpret gemini as like two-faced, when in actuality Gemini is like the representation of dualism, and so we can move like very quickly and we're air too. So it's like we move very quickly between this duality. And so I really feel like I I came to this earth to be a representation of versatility and duality and and part of that, part of my dualism is being very lighthearted and joyful and playful, but also having this very like tortured poet soul as well, like very deep, very observant. I'm in my head a lot, and so for me I can spiral very quickly. I mean just ask my husband like I can really spiral into a state where I'm just like contemplating like the deep meaning of life and what is the point of all of this.
Speaker 3:And so for me, joy and play and and really opening up to a lighthearted perspective, I mean it saved my life, you know. So I feel like you know, like when I, when I first started teaching yoga, um, I very much pushed the playful sailor mouth like stylish fascinista like out, because I was like that's not spiritual enough and people won't take me seriously as a you know someone, a wise person teaching spiritual principles, principles. And then a couple of years later, something hit me and I was like no, actually I feel like the point of spirituality and spiritual growth is to really blossom into your full authentic expression, and my authentic expression is joy and playfulness and silliness, while also being, you know, anchored by this very inquisitive, um, poetic kind of observer of life. So, um, I re.
Speaker 1:I relate to that a lot because I'm a Scorpio.
Speaker 3:Like.
Speaker 1:Scorpios have a bad rap of like being, like dark and like don't get on their bad side a bad rap of like being like dark and like don't get on their bad side, which, yeah, that is true, it's true, it is true. But also there is like there is a lot of like light to me, and I love to be goofy and I love to joke and I love to make people laugh and I'm like like the world is like we live in a duality, so I'm like can't, can I be all of those things too? Um, and and I was telling you before we started recording about how, like we've gotten a lot of hate because of what we look like in, you know, the plant medicine space and and and we're bubbly and and we should be taking this medicine seriously. And we do take this medicine seriously. But also, like, I also want to like live a life of like I take living seriously to the point where I want to be happy and joyful and it be filled with laughter too.
Speaker 3:Like that's serious to me, like I seriously want to laugh. I take my joy and my pleasure seriously. I take it very serious.
Speaker 2:There's like a meme or something going around and I love resharing it every time it like pops up on our feed. But it's like you're not healing to hold space for the pain. You're healing to hold space for the joy, and I think a lot of people forget that, like there's, there's supposed to be joy in this journey as well. So I really love, yeah, you speaking on it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I want to hear more. Yeah, and I I feel like kind of what happens with like the evolution of a spiritual awakening, as someone is like you know, bliss is ignorant, ignorance is bliss, and like, wow, I'm living my life and then all of a sudden, you know, you have this like sensation of discomfort, like hang on, this life that I've been working towards is not the life that I want and that you know, or the or my health is declining. There's some sort of shaking. You know that that brings you to that is the catalyst for the spiritual awakening. And then, somewhere along the way that that kind of ignorance is bliss, that bliss energy turns into melancholy, and I see that happening all the time with people going through a spiritual awakening is they? They enter into this very melancholic state and everything, everything starts becoming very heavy and very like dramatic and traumatic, and that's okay because a lot of stuff is surfacing that we're having to process and work through. But then I feel like that melancholy becomes like a badge of honor and like how serious can you be, how serious can you take everything? And and it's like a trance almost. And when I and and again I want to say like there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 3:I feel like we all have to go to those depths and I will revisit those depths again and again, and again in this lifetime. I am sure of it. But we forget that joy is like the highest vibration. I mean, love is the highest vibration, but joy and play are the gateway. And I feel like it takes it does take some work to like get into a state of play, but I agree with you Once someone that's been like really entrenched into the world of spirituality kind of breaks out of it and into joy, there's some pushback of like oh wait, so you don't think any of this matters, or none of it's real, and it's like, yes, absolutely, but like all the work that I've been doing, that I am doing, is paying off, and now I'm integrating, and now I'm in a state of play and I'm in that childlike wonder again and it's, it's so liberating to be like I'm going to cut the spiritual strings and I'm going to live my life and just be present and um, that's that's where I am right now and it's, it's beautiful and it's incredible and like really working with, like the concepts of pleasure and play instead of like this deep, sludgy work, um and and yeah, working with the, working with pleasure to like help me integrate and expand is like I mean.
Speaker 3:It's, it's great.
Speaker 2:It's great. I read recently that the clinical opposite of trauma is play. Oh really, it was one of like the many rabbit holes I go down, but I was like, oh my God. That's why I think, after you go through that like dark thing, those things feel so much better Like, because I think it's literally healing your brain composition, like it is healing the parts of you that like change through the traumatic events, like that play.
Speaker 2:Now this is where I am probably going to get uncomfortable in this podcast, because you talk about pleasure a lot and Christine and I have mentioned this before like I'm not there and I'm not as into my sexuality. It has been a journey for me to like really dig into those parts of myself. There's a lot of shame around that I grew up in a very religious household with a sex addict father, so like I have a lot of deep, deep shit father. So like I have a lot of deep, deep shit and I was watching some of your stuff and talking about like the sexual energy. I need to know how to do that and how to tap into that. And where does one start with like realizing that pleasure and play and all of these things that we thought were taboo are actually really really healing.
Speaker 3:Not there. It's our power, it's our power source, and I want to, I want to throw one on you. So I, in my research um, came across something like the, the clinical opposite of pleasure. We've been conditioned to think that it's pain, right, but pleasure and pain are kind of on the same spectrum, but actually the absence or not having the capacity to come into pleasure is powerlessness. Oh what?
Speaker 3:So I want you to think about this, and you don't have to answer, but just think about how you approach and receive and your relationship with pleasure, with really owning your pleasure, not giving it away or performing, nothing like that. It's not promiscuity, it's nothing like that, but really owning, having a deep relationship with the pleasure that lives in your sacral center and your sex organs, and how that correlates to your relationship with abundance. So do you feel like you have to perform for it? Do you feel like you have to give, give, give, give, give before you can receive? Do you feel like, when you receive, that it's truly yours? Do you feel like you're an ownership, that you have a deep relationship with it? Or do you feel shame, do you feel guilt, do you feel gross? Do you feel about the amount of pleasure that you can experience and hold and when you really start thinking about your relationship with pleasure, how very much it mirrors your relationship with abundance.
Speaker 2:Holy shit, I'm not, I'm not to think on that.
Speaker 3:And so from there, when, when a woman is in her full ownership of pleasure and I don't mean, I don't necessarily mean Samantha from sex in the city, I don't mean someone who's you know, that was going to be my next question and performative, yeah, maybe someone who is promiscuous and performative is in their pleasure and that's their authentic expression of it.
Speaker 3:And I'm not shaming that by any means, because I think there's been enough slut shaming in the world through the patriarchy. So not shaming that at all, but like when a woman is in full ownership of her pleasure and she knows how to truly turn on to life, that's a powerful woman, that's a woman that can say no, that can really tune in to her body and that can say yes. That's a woman who can say what she wants, how she wants it and when she wants it, with full confidence. And we have been so conditioned to be guilty, to feel shame, to feel like our pleasure is foul or nasty or or low vibration or primal. Um, because it's our power source, because it's our power source. And so what better way to take power away from a woman than to tell her her experience of pleasure is bad a woman than to tell her, her experience of pleasure is bad.
Speaker 1:Okay, so there's so many questions.
Speaker 2:There's so much.
Speaker 1:There's so much that was so good. Can you share like an example from you of how you tapped into that? Yes, because I think. I think so many women struggle with that and so many women are uncomfortable. Can I? I'm not going to rat you out.
Speaker 2:You can rat me out.
Speaker 1:I'm going to write you out a little bit. Even if I talk about pleasure with Leah, she gets very uncomfortable Me just sharing it, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I shut it down. No, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:Like, but she's visibly um like I like get red. I'm already. She will literally and I'm like I'm talking about me, I'm not talking about you, and she will break out in hives, like it's like, and I think so.
Speaker 3:Or we've been conditioned. This is not safe, we should not be talking about this and like. This is like just such deep ancestral trauma of like when a woman shares with another woman about her own pleasure, it's like we can't even. Oh, like I that like this is off limits, this is off limits and that's just that's not even ours, that's like handed down through the ages. So one of my big things was um, I never self-pleasured. Um, and I don't use the word masturbation, because that actually it its roots and etymology means to pollute with the hand. Yeah, so another patriarchal. Let's strip them of their power. So I don't use that word.
Speaker 2:I am taking that word out of my vocabulary.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I use the word self-pleasure. So I, for I mean my whole life. I didn't engage in self-pleasure. So I, for I mean my whole life. Like I didn't engage in self-pleasure. I was like my arms are too long, like my anatomy is not right. This is silly. I have more important things to do. Like this is just yet another thing the patriarchy wants me to do. This is this is just yet another thing the patriarchy wants me to do.
Speaker 3:Like I had been so conditioned to think that pleasure was just like really for the man. And like if I'm self pleasuring, then like it's what's the point, you know? Like it doesn't really feel that good. Like my orgasm experience was very like you know, it's like okay, like why, what's the point in all of this? Um, and then I had this aha around pleasure and abundance and um, so I have this birthmark on my lip and I've had a lot of surgeries on it, so it looks a lot smaller than what it was when I grew up with. I stopped getting surgeries on it, cause I'm finally in full self-acceptance with it, but it conditioned in me a belief that I was just inherently flawed, that like I was just not right somehow, and so I always was living this life of like seeing people at the table, seeing people online and like they have something that I don't have, like they have it figured out and I will never figure it out because there's something broken inside of me. And so I felt like, in order to really come into abundance, I had to like act like everyone else that was doing it, like the yoga teacher, you know, let me put on my serious spiritual hat or like online entrepreneur, let me do like this and you know, and so like really coming into this, like oh shit, like the way I approach pleasure is the way I approach abundance, and right now I don't even feel capable of creating pleasure within my own body without the help of a partner, and even then I'm not really enjoying it.
Speaker 3:So I committed to myself to go on a journey of self-pleasure and started telling myself you're not broken, your arms are the perfect length, megan. Like you can, you can reach there. And and then like really started thinking like how can I use my breath, how can I be very present with this? How can I stop like going through the grocery list or thinking that this isn't important and really, really cultivate a relationship with my own pleasure, and so I mean started creating like instead of meditation, I'm going to have self-pleasure moments and like really really creating a practice around it, until it felt safe. And now it feels very safe and real good and I found, like all the different like what do what do I like?
Speaker 3:I like listening to, like erotic stories and I like listening to like tantric music or to like like music that has like moaning and stuff in the background, you know, and like really finding like what supports me and my pleasure and what toys and what like lubes, and you know, like how do I even like to dress when I come into practice of self pleasure? I like silk and I like satin and I like really pretty colors and really cultivating this relationship with my own pleasure. It took me into a space of feeling like I actually have. I have the power to do whatever I want. And I'm going to tell you a little story. It's a little too much.
Speaker 1:I do not care, please go on, I'm going to get hives over here, no big deal.
Speaker 3:So I this was kind of like in the middle of like really coming into my own pleasure and I was in an airport and I was reading a book. Oh, another thing is I switched from self-development to like erotic fiction Instead of like reading about pleasure. I was like give me some smut and and like that really.
Speaker 3:I mean it helps you know, I mean, it helps you to become comfortable with it.
Speaker 3:And so, anyway, I was in the airport reading a book, um, an erotic book, and I got so turned on that I was like I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't like take care of myself. And so I went into the airport bathroom and like had myself a little pleasure moment and then was walking around the airport Like you know that BG song. Like I was like walking around, like, fuck, yeah, I am so in charge of my pleasure and I don't need anybody else. I can have other people, like I can invite my husband into like my pleasure practice and that's amazing and beautiful and I love when we create pleasure and love together. But like I can, I can fully take care of myself. And so, like, coming into this like very empowered relationship with my pleasure, it's like I like I want to walk around and be like oh my God, I'm magic and you're magic. You don't need anything. You don't need anything and you can just like and you're not broken, right, and you're not broken, your arms aren't too long. That is incredible.
Speaker 3:It's incredible, and then I want to share with you, because this is a really powerful tool that, um, uh, I came up with for my husband and I. So, um, when I started on this pleasure journey up until that point, you know, sex to me felt very, for the man, very I I wasn't receiving a lot of pleasure out of it. It was like very end goal sex equals penetration. Like let's hurry this up, I have other things to do. I want to go to sleep, I'm tired. Like pleasure was not a priority at all. Was it like?
Speaker 2:a transaction, huh, like transactional in a way. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, and you know, my husband and I have like in a way, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you know, my husband and I have like typically a very like loving, kind hearted, you know, relationship, so but I always kind of felt like I'm, I'm just a whole, you know, like I, like I'm not this, this isn't for me at all, and, um, and that's not the type of life I want to live Like. I want to have a like intimate relationship with my husband, with my partner. That's like life giving, that's like exuberant and exhilarating and like deep, passionate pleasure that is fulfilling to me too. And so, on this journey, we had like a full month where I asked him to slowly kiss my body from head to toe, except where a bikini would be, and then that's it, and then it ends there. And then, you know, we speak kind words to each other and then go to sleep.
Speaker 3:And I was like I need this to reprogram, that I am safe to receive without performing, without giving back, without expectations and without it having to be hypersexual, um, to receive this like deep, tender, tlc, to help my brain rewire, to feel safe. Um, and that was like game changing and he would, he was on board. You know, cause I was like here's where I want it to go. This is like I truly desire us to have a passionate, pleasure filled sexual life that then now I know, leads out into the whole rest of your relationship. And and so he was on board because our sex life was suffering. I mean, we've been married for 17 years Like it was, like not, it was not fun for him either, you know, but this practice was the start of him and I really recalibrating and redefining what pleasure looks like and how we can create it for each other and, um, I mean, it's been life changing. So homework.
Speaker 1:Ah, yeah, yeah, I'm. I'm glad you said all of that, because I feel like when there is a woman who, like, owns her sexuality, men and women automatically assume okay. So she's like a slut, she's like you know um. Samantha from sex in the city. Like she does not have respect for her body. Or also like, if you talk about it, it it makes people really uncomfortable. So was that hard for you to show up on social media and talk openly about it?
Speaker 3:So I kind of um, but I started it out as a sexy challenge. I saw, yeah, I was like I'm going to share just like little tips and tools to like help you feel more confident and like pleasure in your life. But I wasn't speaking of pleasure from like an erotic sexual pleasure stance, just kind of like pleasure, like gratitude, you know. And then Instagram started censoring me for even using the word sexy or sensual Interesting, in fact, you can't even use the hashtags sexy, sensual or pleasure. They're blocked. Wow, and because I was using those words in my actual reel, like in the text, in the real, and then in the captions, instagram blocked all of my stuff from being seen by non followers and that really triggered something into me like hold up, like all I'm trying to do is teach women how to feel more confident and I'm being blocked like this is this, is there's something here, and that like really put me on a course of like. No, no, no, no, like I need to talk about this more. Um, and then it was kind of like a big F, you to like the man of like. No, I'm gonna, I'm gonna talk about this. End of like. No, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna talk about this and I do feel like the fact that you know people, people in my community that have been following me for a long time, or not even a few months.
Speaker 3:They know that I'm married, that I've been married for a long time, they know that I have three kids, they know that I am safe, and so I feel like me talking about pleasure. I feel like someone like me talking about pleasure is very needed in the social media space, because right now, the people talking about pleasure no, they're amazing. I love them, but they're very, they're very sexual, they're very, or maybe they're not mothers, and that's that's totally fine. I love that. Or maybe they're not, nor have ever been in a committed relationship, and that's totally fine. But there's not a lot of you know, 40 something year old women who have kids, who are just like you're going to see me at the grocery store, looking like crap or looking amazing. You know you're going to see me like in the carpool line. You're going to see me showing up with no makeup on and stories, doing something ridiculous, and I think that I think women need to see a woman like me.
Speaker 3:You know I'm not like in a silk robe in Costa Rica with like a crystal wand up my private parts. You know again, nothing wrong with that. It's amazing. Praise be hallelujah. I love it and I love all the people doing that. Um, so for me it was like, okay, I'm going to have to get a little uncomfortable for a little bit, but this is so, it's so needed, it's so needed. And, yes, maybe I'll lose followers, but that's okay. Um, I've lost followers in the past and people will DM me and be like I unfollowed you because I wasn't ready for what you had to say, and now I'm back and I love that. I love that.
Speaker 2:So I'm going to be candid and honest here, because I understand the other type of sexual persona that is online and I, because of where I am, in my sexual power, that intimidates the fuck out of me and I'm probably not going to be able to relate to what they have to share.
Speaker 2:But it's, it's very much like what you're saying. Like I'm also a mother, I also have three kids, I also am very you know it, christine's my hype girl always like show that cleavage and I'm like, oh God, oh, I don't know if I could do that. So it's, it's a process for me. So, like I feel like I would be more willing to listen to someone who is more representative of where I am in life. And that kind of brings me to my next point, because I think and I, I know this, but I don't know if our listeners know this about, like the female archetypes um, the mother, the crone, the maiden, um, and you have kind of put out there that there's a fourth archetype that nobody really talks about, and so can you go into that a little bit? But also, like, in a very quick short, make it easy way, like explain what the others are too, yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, and these archetypes aren't just, uh, relegated to age, you know. So you can be in all four archetypes, even in one month of your cycle, um, and you can really hold the energy of one particular archetype, you know in your essence, but all of them are available to you. So I just want to preface with that. So the maiden archety and energetic, very curious, but also can be very gullible, very, what's the word I'm looking for? Naive, naive, naive, and then like very open to, oh well, she said it's like this. So therefore it is, that's the truth.
Speaker 2:Impressionable.
Speaker 3:There we go. Every archetype has a shadow and an expanded side. Yeah, of course, a lot of people they feel like, when they discover, play again that they're in the maiden phase. But it's actually this fourth one that's not talked about, um, and then we have the mother archetype, which, um, you know, it's very nurturing, it's, it's very, um, uh like responsible. I've got this like let me hold you, um, but the shadow side is martyr, um, and resentment and and and losing oneself and and like just kind of all right, well, this is my role, so therefore, this is like, let me check all the boxes and this is what I'm supposed to look like, and and kind of loss of identity would that be like the?
Speaker 2:well, I'm a mom now yes I can't be sexy, I'm a mom yeah, I feel that one a lot right which is like why you know right, yeah, I can't do that anymore.
Speaker 1:I'm a mom.
Speaker 3:Right, it's because women were seen as possessions and once they had the children, they were no longer of. You know, they fulfilled their duty. And so let's take them off the market completely and tell them they can't be sexy anymore or in their power, because there's nothing left for them to do except be this mother figure, and that's, that's bullshit, right, yeah? And then there's the next archetype, which I'll touch on, but I'm going to get to the last archetype, which is Chrome. And so in our society, because of this conversation and these three, you know more well-known archetypes, we feel like, well, there's mother, and then there's nothing in between. And then I go to Chrome, which is the matriarch. It's the like, very grounded, um, I got this like.
Speaker 3:But the, the expanded side of the crone is like I think of diane von furstenberg, like I'm in my power, I don't give a fuck, I have nothing to prove to you and I'm living my best life like, remember, iris Appel, like she you know this just like very authentic, just wise woman. But the other, the shadow side of Crone, can be like very, um, they're, they're holding the line of oppression and making sure everyone else is going to be like. You know a lot of the like grandmas on sitcoms and they're just, like you know, holding down the fort and making sure all these rules are kept in place, but they really don't know. They're just reinforcing an oppressive, they're just carrying it out.
Speaker 1:I think of the movie Encanto, oh yeah, I don't know why?
Speaker 3:but I immediately like, went to like the grandma Cause it is like she's the wise one she like she's the one who started the powers and all of that. But, yeah, yeah, and so she's the wise one, but is her wisdom actually for the expansion or is it? Is it oppressive? Right, it's oppressive, because she was the maiden once and, okay, I will accept what I hear as truth and then I'm just going to carry it out through the rest of my life because I never thought critically and I never connected to my pleasure. Oh, shit, yeah, and the thing is we can be in shadow and expansion at the same time, so we can have it's not just one or the other, but this fourth archetype that we don't talk about as much because it is dangerous to a society that really depends on the oppression of women, and that's the wild woman archetype and it's between the mother and the crone and a lot of women.
Speaker 3:Regardless if you have human children or not, you don't have to have human children to be a mother archetype by any means.
Speaker 3:In fact, there's a lot of children whose mothers may still be stuck in maiden, that had to assume the role of the mother archetype at a very young age and never really got to experience the maiden archetype, and they're staying in that role of mother archetype because they didn't really ever have the freedom to play and to, you know, eyes wide open, and they had to like get to work, you know, pretty early.
Speaker 3:But the wise woman or the wild woman archetype is, it kind of takes the, the playful, joyful expression of the maiden, combines it with, like that nurturing energy of the mother and then this like hang on, like I'm, I'm allowed to like really enjoy my life and think for myself and I feel like pleasure is a big key to this wild woman essence and I feel very connected to this essence right now. It's all about to like creative expression. She's painting, she's dancing, and not to be good, not to create good work, but to like fully express herself. And it's kind of messy and wild and she's doing what she wants and how she wants it. She's not prescribing to someone else's belief system, you know, she's finding what works for her. And I feel like this archetype isn't talked about too much because the patriarchy or the powers that be want us to go from mother to crone. We've had, you know, when our kids are get a little older, like my youngest is four now. Like you want me to stay in this mother archetype until I'm 70?.
Speaker 2:Like, well, that's, it's, it's. I think it's it's too powerful for the patriarchy. It is everybody to step into that wild woman role.
Speaker 3:It is, yeah, and I mean, you know it's the woman who doesn't give a fuck, she's not keeping up with the Joneses, she's like living life by her own terms and that's very dangerous to a society that depends on us playing along. You know, and, and so I find that there's three big pillars that really support this wild woman archetype. And it's body wisdom, like knowing fully your body, what your body loves, knowing the anatomy of your own arousal and pleasure, knowing your hormones. Like really bringing yourself into an expression of vitality and health because you trust your own intuition. You know what to eat, you know how to eat, you know how to pleasure yourself, you know how to keep your chi and your life force energy flowing. And you're educated on your body like, on your like arousal and how to like activate that pleasure. And then the second would be creative expression Like you are open to creatively expressing yourself in the way that you speak and the way that you dress and the way that you um, write, dance, play, you know what garden decorate your home. It's you and it's authentic representation of who you are and what you're feeling.
Speaker 3:And a lot of women are scared to do that because we live in this critique culture, Like if I express myself, someone's going to tell me what's wrong with it or bad, or how to improve and how to get better.
Speaker 3:And that starts, I mean, at birth, like oh, that was good, but let's talk about you know what you did wrong so you can get better. And that just completely shuts down our muse. And then we're like, well, I don't have a creative bone in my body, so like I'm not going to, I'm not even going to try that. But creative expression is so important and it's all there in like the sacral center where your sexual energy lives too. And then, lastly, is like really committing to adopting a perspective of lightheartedness and joy, again, like we talked about at the beginning, like that melancholy is so dense, but how can you get out of that and accept pleasure and play as actually the gateway? And when you combine those three things that light hearted perspective, creative expression and body wisdom I feel like these are the ingredients to really step into this wild woman archetype.
Speaker 2:So if all of these archetypes have, like this duality, what is the duality in the wild woman? Good question I forgot about that.
Speaker 3:So it can be like controlling and manipulative and also kind of aloof and like I don't need you. So like very kind of exiled um, not community oriented um, which I've had to work on because I can get very into my own, like little hermit space um, and, like you know, an attitude of judgment, um, but I think that comes with all of it, but like I haven't figured out and you don't, so like therefore I am better than you got it?
Speaker 2:Are we on our way to being wild women? I think I am a wild woman. You are a wild woman. But just listening to you talking about, like the different stages like we were having a conversation weeks ago about how, like how the fuck am I, 40 years old and just now learning about the luteal phase old and just now learning about the luteal phase why was this not taught to me when I was a teenager? Why am I learning this now, like learning how to work with our hormones, like some of the shit that I've read? Like most women who are admitted into a psychiatric hospital, it happens during their luteal phase and nobody talks about that. Like, anyway, I'm just it. It just kind of blows my mind that we are not taught about our own bodies and our own hormones.
Speaker 3:So learning that now has been kind of a mind fuck.
Speaker 2:Learning that now has been kind of a mindfuck.
Speaker 3:It is yeah. And when I so, I was feeling so awful and I had been like on a journey, on a health journey, for years, and one day, I don't know, the Holy Ghost came down to me and was like Google. And I Googled are my hormones fucked up? And I don't know what, I don't know what spurred me to do that. And, um, a little quiz popped up. And you know, the quiz was like absolutely yes, your hormones are fucked up.
Speaker 3:And so I found um a hormone, um health practitioner I live in Boise, here in Boise, and I got my hormones tested like a specific, like you know. And I got my hormones tested like a specific, like you know, a doctor who looks at hormones, like, let's test your hormones, I'm looking for this. And she's like yeah, your body's basically not making testosterone anymore. And so all the symptoms that I had been experiencing very low libido, intense brain fog, intense fatigue, just like kind of like no zest for life anymore All of that was low testosterone. And then I started getting um testosterone therapy and it like it. It changed my life. You know, I'm like why is this not talked about more? Yeah, why.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And because we don't want us to have power not like they, whoever they is, they don't want us to have this knowledge, knowledge is power and a powerful woman is terrifying. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I related to your post. You you shared that you have Lyme disease and um, we, we went to a, we interviewed a functional practitioner and then we started working with her and um, like I've been in the health and fitness industry was I was in there for a long time and I it's like I did so much damage to my body and to my gut and to my hormones because of how like hard on myself I was, like Leah's had less struggles because she's been cause I don't like to work out Well, but but also like you've been more gentle with yourself in that way and and like been softer with yourself in that way and where.
Speaker 1:I was like go hard in the paint Like if, if, if I'm not sweating, if I'm not burning, like a thousand calories, and it's, it's done, wreaked havoc on my body and so trying to reverse that has been crazy, but anyways, I don't even know where I was going with that.
Speaker 3:Well, I will say, like you know, I believe a woman can do anything a man can do, but I also believe that even the way we've been positioned to want our bodies to look, and even the way that we show up in gyms and workouts, it's all positioned and conditioned on a man's body. And then women are like I can do it and we can, and that's amazing. But like the woman, the world is like not set up to the lens of the female body. I'm left handed and I feel the same about being a left handed person. Like the world is set up. It's a right hand man's world. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:But like, yeah, even the way we approach, like working out and and just even our day and the month, and like it's not set up to support female, the female body. And when you really start to think about, like the whole world, and even like having the six pack abs, like that's a very masculine body feature. And if you look at women over the years, you know the like roundish, softer lower belly, like that's a feminine. But we, but even that has been bad. And like no, your tummy needs to look like this. And again, there's nothing wrong with that. It's beautiful, all bodies are beautiful. But it's just when you really start to think about, holy crap, like literally the ideal of everything is based off of the male experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and now, knowing what I know, I didn't grow up with a dad, I didn't grow up with safe men, so a lot of my life was keeping up with them to be like see, I can fucking do it, I don't need a man, I don't need a man, I can do it.
Speaker 2:What just happened. Yeah, oh, am I still here. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:My screen went blank. So, and to what you're saying, like, I'll be the one to say it. Like, just because you can do everything a man can do doesn't mean we should be doing that. Like I, that has been a big part of of my journey, too, is realizing that like, just because I was able to work 40 plus hours a week and take care of my kids and do all of this doesn't mean I was meant to do all of that. So that, like you can. But who are you proving to like? Who are you trying to prove to that you can? Like yourself, society, other women, other men, like that was a life that I I hated like, and and I think to everyone else they could, they saw me doing this, they saw the business I owned and the, the life that I had and the kids that I was raising. They're like, oh wow, look at her go. And like really I was dying inside just trying to keep up. So just, because you can?
Speaker 2:that's where I'm like, but do I have to? I?
Speaker 3:don't want to. It's a really interesting conversation that I don't have all the answers to for sure, but it is like you know, there's a meme going around right now that's like are real, you know, and it's like you know, to all the women who were, like you know, had goals of like being the girl boss, working the nine to five, making six figures like, who now just want to like stay at home and do nothing, like how, how's your life going? And I get it. I also know that, like, I have this fire inside of me, um, and being a stay-at-home mom is not, um, fulfilling for me. I know it is for some women and that's beautiful and it's wonderful, um, so it's like where I feel like it's having to like redefine a whole like paradigm of what a fulfilled woman looks like because, like you know, burning the candles at both in working the corporate job or even being an entrepreneur, and, like you know, going all in and raising children, it's, it's, it's, it's hard, it's very hard, you know. So it's like I don't, I don't have the answer, but there's got to be some way. And to also have your own money. And it's a big conversation.
Speaker 3:But, yeah, working 80 hours a week. Prove it, boss, babe. Again, nothing wrong with that for those that align with it, like truly authentically align with it. But um, it's a, it's tough. Yeah, it's tough, so yeah.
Speaker 1:So you, you talk a lot on um, your social media, about like showing up authentically, and about a month, a month and a half ago, I did a mushroom journey and I don't know if you know anything about human design, but, um, I'm a projector. What is your human design?
Speaker 3:I'm a generator, I'm a five one. Of course that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1:Okay, that makes so much so for you.
Speaker 2:Like the work ethic is like so much bigger because I'm like I'm manifestor and she's a projector and we're over here Like I want to do less. I was trying to keep up with all the generators of the world and now I'm like I only am a generator when I'm lit up, if something is lit up, meh no. Yeah, no effort.
Speaker 3:I'll just read a book instead.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a smut book, yeah, so, but pretty much the basis of my journey, it was all about doing less, being more, showing up as authentically as possible and things will just come to you. You don't, you don't need to like, that's just like you. Just be you and things will come to you and things will happen to you. Okay, I'm working on integrating this because, like, I don't know how to do that and so, like I think. So I think like, when you, like a lot of people, say, like, just be your authentic self and just show up on your platform and be authentic, what the fuck does that mean, do you?
Speaker 1:know, what I'm. I understand the idea.
Speaker 3:So I want to invite you to take that question into your pleasure practice, because I can't tell you the answer.
Speaker 3:But your pleasure center can. And if you go into so, like I was saying earlier, like I now, I replaced meditation with self-pleasure and now I do. You know a little bit of both. Whenever I mean, I usually go for the self-pleasure, but like, can you enter into a self-pleasure practice? Maybe put on some beautiful music, set the intention of like just feeling your authentic self. What is the message? Right now? You know what's on my heart, what feels really good and juicy to me. Um, and take that into your pleasure practice and just open yourself up. And then you know, after climax or whatever, just integrate and just like really open yourself up to the messages and to the softness you know and like I'm not saying like open up your phone. At that moment You're like hey guys.
Speaker 1:I just saw pleasure.
Speaker 3:Guess what I just did, but like take it to your pleasure, you know, and like let your let pleasure give you the answers.
Speaker 1:Um, so that's really interesting that you say that, because the journey was the first. This journey was the first time I did a heroic dose of mushrooms with MDMA.
Speaker 2:And so I okay so.
Speaker 1:I got that lesson and it was like do less, be more, and the right things will come to you. And then, like the MDMA part of the journey is like okay, now you got that lesson, now embody it right now.
Speaker 3:And so.
Speaker 1:I had like this whole experience on my bed, where again I was just like I'm amazing. Yeah, like feeling it and feeling myself and like having this intimate experience with myself. Now it wasn't self-pleasure in that way, but it was I totally. I was like, I felt like I had an exorcism in my bed.
Speaker 2:I was like rolling around and feeling my hair and touching myself and I'm like this is crazy.
Speaker 1:So I just thank you for that because it is, I feel like what you said and the experience tied in together.
Speaker 3:So with that experience, I want to put you on the spot a little bit Like what did you know to be so deeply true about yourself in that experience?
Speaker 1:I think I have. I think that there is this bigness to me and I have this like very big aura. That's I think I'm like. I feel like uncomfortable, like saying nice things about myself, no, you gotta own it. I feel like I have this magnetic presence, but I don't know what to do with it. I'm like getting emotional.
Speaker 3:It's weird Because when we speak our truth and like, emotion is connected to truth and there's this bigness that wants to come out, so, of course, like, there's this emotion that's finally being dislodged. So, showing up authentically, show up big, show up owning yourself, like own it, and show up from that space. You don't have to play like, oh, if I'm like humble and meek and sweet, then maybe people will like me more. Like, own it, own the bigness, show up on that bigness, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I'm not, I'm not that in real life. Meet me and you're like, oh yeah, she is big and I feel like I show up like that on the podcast, but then when it comes to actually like showing up on social media, I'm like I don't feel big anymore okay, we'll figure out.
Speaker 3:figure out how to show up big yeah.
Speaker 2:You know yourself you posted something yesterday and I was like, oh shit, she just got on our stories and talked, just talked and that was huge for you, I know that was big for you I almost deleted it, so that was showing up authentically.
Speaker 3:Are we in therapy right now?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, we are Shit. She literally just got on there and talked freely. It wasn't like a trend, it wasn't like something specific and I was just like fuck yeah.
Speaker 3:You don't ever do that. We trusted that. Yeah, like wherever that emotion is coming from right now, like feel it because it's wanting to be expressed you know, like showing up in that bigness and also knowing when not to show up.
Speaker 3:You know, like, yeah, that's a big part of me. Showing up authentically is like there will be two or three days where you don't see me at all, because and I know for, like, from a business perspective, like that's very bad, but I'm trying to change the paradigm, you know. So if I don't feel like showing up, I'm not, I'm doing other stuff, but like I'm here to change the paradigm, not to just be consistent for the sake of consistency and so, but. But showing up authentically I think a lot of people think that means like showing up with whatever emotional state you're in and like sharing vulnerably, and that's one piece of it. But showing up truly deeply, authentically, is owning that, that bigness inside of you and knowing that you don't have to perform, that you don't have to prove anything. You know that you're enough and you, you can be seen owning yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think, I guess, I think in the places I feel safe. I do show up big yeah, but on a public platform I'm like I get very insecure.
Speaker 2:I think I'm going to take this back to you, meg being like a self, like a hype girl, like it's, it's part of your bio, like you are like the biggest hype girl and I am like witnessing it right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah and B, but what I just? I find this very interesting because you are such a hype girl for everyone else. You've done that for me, like when I struggled showing up authentically, you were like, oh my God, you're just do it and you're so good and you know what you know and you just you exude this ball and then it's hard to watch you struggle with that same thing because you're such a good hype girl. But I don't. Maybe a hype girl needs other, another hype girl. Oh yeah, like it's hard to be your own hype girl.
Speaker 3:It is. I've got plenty of hype girls in my life. Yeah, okay, I need it.
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry you're crying, but no, it's good, it's really good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I want to give you a prayer. So, um, are you familiar with the author, sue Monk Kidd? No, oh, I love her book. Okay, I'm going to clip that so I remember.
Speaker 3:She's a fiction writer, novels, and there's this book called the Book of Longs and it's beautiful, oh I love it, but it's about it's a story of a woman who's finding herself in in like biblical times. It's not a religious book, but it's set in biblical times and she's like really learning who she is and she says this prayer and it it resonated so deeply with me. And again, it's a fiction, it's a novel, it's a fiction book but I I read it like two or three years ago and I've been using it ever since and it's just blessed the largeness inside of me.
Speaker 2:Fuck, you have to like write that on your mirror at home. I'm going to you. Absolutely should do that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and when I read that I was like, oh well, that was for me, you know, and for you too, and it's like we and I feel like that connects to my message of pleasure yeah, even oh, sorry, go ahead. We've been so conditioned to keep it small, every our pleasure, our beauty, our expression, to keep it small, to keep it safe. Because you know, what if someone makes fun of me? What if someone calls me stupid? What if someone can do it better than me? There's so many reasons. What if I'm cast out? What if I'm judged, you know whatever? Um, but like we, but like we're done with that, we're done with that. Look at the world, it's on fucking fire. You know, women being in their smallness is not the answer. It's not the answer. And so when we can bless the largeness inside of us, when we can own fully our pleasure to know to say what we want, how we want it and when we want it, and to be fully turned on by life like this, is how we change the world.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Amen.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you know, like man, I needed that. I didn't even know that I needed that. But even you talking about like I used to read like self-development books and all of that, and then now I just started like reading some like smut, like even that little thing resonated with me so much because I'm like I feel like I have to like do all of these things to be in this space and sometimes like healing is reading a smut book and like being okay with that and like yeah and yeah, hot outfit and red lipstick and owning your largeness Like Shit, wow, okay, it's not putting on the mask of what you think you're supposed to look like.
Speaker 3:That's showing up inauthentically. Yeah. You know like play with your own ego. You have permission to play with your personality, with your ego. You know to like adorn and decorate and and be you.
Speaker 1:You know and share a message of love and expansion, and you literally are such a good hype Like that is like like that was something I didn't even know I needed, but I did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's therapy, it's church. We didn't even like go down our list of questions which I know. Literally. I love when that happens, like I'm sure we touched on a lot of them, but like, honestly, this conversation went exactly where we wanted it to go where we needed it to go, we might need to do a part two with her eventually, Like come back on in another six months and talk to us about your um medicine journeys Cause we didn't even get into that.
Speaker 3:Right, oh, I want to share really quickly. So I recently also did um a psilocybin journey and in my journey it was very similar to yours, christine, of like, own, own it, fully own it. And my message was like you, megan, you like literally come from a lineage of queens and you have to own this queen energy, you have to. And the less you do like a queen doesn't perform, a queen doesn't need to prove that she's a queen, she just is, you know. And and then my guide, rupaul, rupaul, rupaul, you better work In full drag and was like own it, own it. And I kept having like the RuPaul in full drag, like this big In my journey and just like this queen, like own it, own it, queen.
Speaker 1:And so oh, my God.
Speaker 3:I want to give that to you. When you feel like you need your own hype girl, just call on little tiny RuPaul and full drag telling you to own it. And can we have like a?
Speaker 2:also a mini mag, like a mini mag and a mini RuPaul, one on each shoulder.
Speaker 1:And I'm telling you like I found you because I was like her vibe.
Speaker 2:I resonate with that, but I don't know how to show up as that.
Speaker 3:You are that in real life, like that's. I think the thing that I know you are that. Oh, it's a. It's a one of the things that I do. When I can feel I'm like getting into that mass performance of inauthenticity, I just fuck it, like fuck it, and then just show up, as me you know. So you have your rupaul own it and then it's just fuck it yeah fuck it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm gonna have you. I'm gonna have RuPaul and you um okay.
Speaker 2:How can our listeners um find you for when they need a hype girl?
Speaker 1:and do you have anything like coming up? Yeah, like how can people work with you?
Speaker 3:yeah. So I'm gonna be launching a group experience soon called juicy, where, where we're going to get into those three pillars of creative expression body, wisdom and joyful perspective and it's like really to help women step into their power. And when I say power, I'm talking about really cultivating that relationship with your pleasure center and becoming like fully turned on, a magnetic. So that's going to be, that's going to be happening in the fall. Um, I will be, um. Registration is opening, actually today or tomorrow for a couple's retreat in Mexico, um, in October. And then we'll all have another, another couples retreat, Um, and there will be um, someone there, um, as uh, facilitating with psilocybin, um for one ceremony. And then, um, I've got some women's retreats that are in the works I'm not announced yet, but they're coming up. But that couples retreat in October is, um, it'll, it'll go quick.
Speaker 2:So okay, yeah, so get on it guys.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you can find me on Instagram and then my website Tik TOK, I'm. I'm a 47 year old woman, I'm you know, I'm learning. I think I've got like 600 followers on Tik TOK.
Speaker 1:I'm like oh yeah, there's that too, but you have like a hundred thousand on Instagram, so I think you're doing pretty good.
Speaker 2:TikTok is weird. It's a very strange place.
Speaker 3:If you find me on TikTok you know I'm not as active on there. It's very much an afterthought for me right now. Oh, I also have a free um sub stack community so you can sign up for that. Um, my latest issue, my July. We're in July, right?
Speaker 2:July issue went out today.
Speaker 3:Um, and that's just full of like yumminess and delight. It feels like a little treasure box of joy. So you can register for that. It's free Okay.
Speaker 2:Awesome. Thank you for everything today Like this was such a pleasure.
Speaker 1:Like I want to be friends in real life.
Speaker 2:I want to come to all the retreats. Thank you for therapy. My friend here, get out of this like what you got out of this. I mean we both got a lot out of this today, but like, hopefully this resonates with our listeners. I think if you're a female period like at all, this is this is going to hit home for you. So thank you for all that you're doing.
Speaker 1:You're incredible.
Speaker 2:And to our listeners um, stay curious, be open and we'll see you guys on the other side.
