See You On The Other Side

70 | Hypnotherapy, Past Lives and Finding Gratitude in Grief with Alena

• Leah & Christine • Season 2 • Episode 70

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Meet Alena, a clinical hypnotherapist, psychic, medium and spiritual guide specializing in hypnotic healing and past life regression. Join us in this conversation as we journey into the depths of the subconscious mind, exploring how hypnosis can bring profound healing by uncovering deep-seated traumas and emotions. Alena shares her personal voyage with grief and healing, and how she found herself being of service to others.

Our conversation also expands into the world of plant medicine, particularly psilocybin. Alena shares her experiences with microdosing and finding beauty in the mundane.  And also the impact a larger journey had on her grieving process, underlining the importance of slowing down and appreciating the beauty around her.

Alena gives us a glimpse into her upcoming memoir, "Blessed by Death." This intensely personal memoir captures the experiences of grief, death, and the ensuing healing process, giving a fresh perspective on these often difficult-to-talk-about topics. From past life regression to connecting with ancestors, Alina’s memoir weaves together the threads of her personal and professional life, beautifully illustrating the power and potential of alternative healing methods.

✨ Alena Kupchella Gourley, LSW is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, psychic, medium and spiritual guide specializing in hypnotic healing and past life regression. Each session is customized to your beliefs and needs. You will work together to heal current or past relationship issues, physical, mental or emotional traumas or pain, such as phobias, anxieties, addictions, depression and anxiety, improving sports performance, stress management, weight loss and a positive body and food relationship. Self-Love, Self-Acceptance and Self-Forgiveness is our driving force.

✨ Utilizing hypnosis to access a past life and work with your Healing Angels, Guides, Ancestors, Nature Elementals and Animals Friends. Addressing any physical, mental or emotional issues that need healing and fostering forgiveness! Opening to your spiritual gifts, embracing your divinity, healing intergenerational trauma, developing self love. Opening communication with the body to access the messages it is offering through physical, mental or emotional pain.
Always working towards experiencing and learning for yourself how to continue on your healing journey and increase your communication with your Spirit Team. And most importantly the practical application in your current life so you can feel and function your very best. Each session is customized to your beliefs and needs.

Learn more about Alena and the services offered at:
https://celebrateeverystep.com/

Find her podcast at:
https://celebrateeverystep.com/blog/

You can find more content and community interaction at: https://www.facebook.com/celebrateeverystep

And on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/celebrateeverystep

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Speaker 1:

Alina, we are so excited for you to be here today. I just kinda wanna get started right off the bat. You are a licensed social worker and a clinical hypnotherapist, correct? And I was talking to Leah about it and she's like okay, but like what is a hypnotherapist? We need to talk about it, yeah it's a good question.

Speaker 2:

So when I started in therapy it felt like we were just hitting surface level things. So we were talking about the same issue over and over and over again and I was like there just has to be more that I can do for people. And I had learned about EMDR early on in my training. But I learned about hypnosis and then specifically past life regression and that really intrigued me and so I went to Sedona and did a 10 day training to do past life regression and that was 15 years ago now at this point, which is mind blowing that it's been that long. And so then I just progressed with that.

Speaker 2:

So the hypnotherapy allows us to go into the subconscious and see what the soul, the mind, the body is holding onto.

Speaker 2:

So we tuck away memories, we tuck away traumas, we tuck away emotions and we can't always consciously say what it is. We know that something's bothering us, but we don't know what exactly it is. And even if we know generally what it is that has happened to us, we it's very hard for us to remember or to even know, like, what our soul exactly is so hurt by. So with the hypnosis and the way that I do it, we go right into that issue. So if somebody comes to me for weight loss and it's because of like emotional eating, eating your feelings, when we go into that underlying, we could be going into one thing one kid said on the beach when you were 11 years old and you might have like a like oh, I kind of remember that happening, but for some reason your soul just latches onto that and it affects you throughout your entire lifetime. And then of course, you know other comments, other things, and so that hypnosis piece allows us to get in and kind of go below the surface and get to the root cause.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, I feel like a lot of people don't realize that my family and I we were talking about somebody who, someone we know, that is struggling with his life, and then we started talking about his childhood and how his dad parented him. And his dad was really hard and you know, we remember him telling us this story about how he came home one day and he got beat up by someone in his class and his dad berated him and put him in the car and drove him over to that kid's house and was like you cannot get back into my car unless, like, you win that fight, like you beat that. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2:

I just got chills.

Speaker 1:

So, but now he has turned into an adult with anger issues and you know it really struggles. But I see this wounded little boy who never healed. But I think a lot of adults don't really realize that it correlates back to something deeper. They're just focusing on what's present instead of like how it started and the root, like what you said. So I think that is very interesting and a lot of people come to us not necessarily realizing that you know when we bring up psychedelics and how it maybe goes into things that we don't even know we're there and it brings them out. So, yes, thank you for doing the work that you do.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, inner child healing is a huge part of my practice because, you know, when I got into it I didn't even know that term.

Speaker 2:

That was before that term was widely understood. But then when I would start to work with somebody on anxiety, depression, anger, weight loss, everything we would go back to childhood, even babyhood, like when they're a teeny, tiny baby and the parents are fighting in the next room. And then we'd go to past lives and I'm like, oh my gosh, like this could be a never ending thing that we need to do. But you know, for weight loss, I've struggled with my weight throughout my whole life major body image issues, and I've done so much healing inner child-wise. But also having to go back to past lives, and it is that, you know, you mentioned the psychedelics and that was kind of how that was. My next step was like, okay, hypnosis is getting to the root cause in the past life is bringing in that metaphysical and spiritual aspect, but the psychedelics really, really, really allow us to go beyond the veil and really dive into those particular wounds that we might be carrying for lifetimes.

Speaker 3:

So we just did. We saved a clip from another episode previously that was saying you know, for people who don't understand, like psychedelics and how they work for you, like, how would you explain that to someone who's like, oh, I don't need to do that, you know, I feel my feelings just fine. And the way she said it was like you know, if you're dealing with an issue, continue to ask yourself why and once you figure out the why, allow the mushrooms to assist you in the why, or the psychedelics. And it kind of sounds like what you're saying with you know you can unpack those things, but then it's like you're sitting there and you're like, okay, now what?

Speaker 1:

What am I?

Speaker 3:

supposed to do with this and I want to say something about the EMDR versus the hypnotherapy. You know I read Brian Weiss's book Many Lives, many Masters last year and it sounds like a lot like what you're doing.

Speaker 2:

Literally what you're doing. Yeah, he was like the OG person that made it famous. But yeah, yeah, I was like explaining to Christine.

Speaker 3:

I was like I don't even think he meant he didn't mean to do the past lives thing. He was a hypnotherapist and then the past lives started happening and he's like what the fuck? But for I'm gonna use my husband as an example here. He disassociated a lot in his childhood. He doesn't have any memories, so he tried to do EMDR and with the EMDR you have to have a memory to like work through that. So he struggled with it because he was like I don't know, like maybe this one time this thing happened I think hypnotherapy would be something more suited for him or someone who doesn't quite understand where it's coming from, because then you're like diving deeper 100%.

Speaker 3:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

Yes, exactly, exactly, Because the other piece of that that I do and this is all things that just have developed over so many years of doing this and working with so many different people and finding what works and the other thing is that so that is a very common issue that people feel like they don't have a lot of memories from their childhood and that can come from trauma, where we disassociate and aren't like fully locked into it. But I've even found it with my sister so she was the fourth, so there's not that many pictures and also she wasn't sitting around like when I was little we would sit at the kitchen table my grandma was in rehash and talk about all the stories over and over again and be like remember that one time when this happened and so it really locked it in. And she's like I just don't have that many. I was like, yeah, you kind of missed out on that neural path, those neural pathways getting formed in these very core memories that I have, and so there can be different reasons for that.

Speaker 2:

But yeah, the hypnosis and the way that I do it, even if somebody doesn't have and it's very rare that there's not some type of memory that comes up when we deal with the presenting issue, but sometimes it's more so what they're feeling in their body. So if we're talking about guilt, that might be something that you feel like a burning in your belly about, or you might have neck pain, and so we will talk to your body and let your body talk to you, or sometimes it just wants to be released. So we don't have to rehash every little thing that happened. We just need to go to where your soul and subconscious needs to go.

Speaker 3:

Damn Okay.

Speaker 2:

Can you do?

Speaker 3:

this virtually no you're like wheels turning.

Speaker 2:

Oh, no yeah.

Speaker 3:

We've never talked to anybody about this before. We're like two kids in a candy shop right now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yes, I have clients all over the world, so it can be done virtually.

Speaker 1:

Okay, well, I was gonna say I don't remember a lot of not just my childhood, but I feel like even like teenage years like those are very vague for me.

Speaker 3:

So, hmm, I know interesting. So when did the psychedelics come into play? When did that?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so I had been interested. So, like I said, I'm always searching for what can I do, what can I offer that helps my clients heal even more, because I am a true empath that word gets thrown around a lot, but I feel other people's pain and it took me a lot of years to even realize that that's what was happening. And so when I'm sitting with somebody and we're working through traumas and we're working through hurts, I'm feeling that. So of course, I wanna alleviate that for them in the best ways possible. And so I started just picking up on the research of like oh, they're doing real deal, research studies on psychedelics, on the ketamine, the MDMA, the psilocybin, and that really started to peak my interest.

Speaker 2:

And then our son died in December of 2021. And it just completely shattered our world, and I've had a lot of traumatic deaths in my life. I'm actually almost like this close to being done with my memoir focused on my grief journey, and one of the things that I've tried to do in the midst of all of these tragic losses is find the blessing and the lesson in that, and so when our son died, it was like okay, how do I start to shift this? I have three other children. I cannot let this destroy me. I have a thriving business. I need to show up for my clients in the best way that I can, but I have to be okay. You know, I have to be okay in order for everybody else to be okay, and so kind of everything was on the table Every single tool, practice, everything that I had ever read of, heard of, done, taught other people, and one of those that I hadn't yet crossed into was the plant medicine. I'm a weird mix of like a goody, two shoes and then also a rebel.

Speaker 3:

That's me, that's me. I won't run a red light, but I do a lot of psychedelics.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, that's funny, yeah. So I had never just kind of crossed that, but then it was like all right, let's go for it. And I have a very good friend who is a shaman and so you know, when we did the journey, we brought in the sacredness, the intention, the music you know that soul music that you can, the drumming, the mouth harmonica or the mouth strumming during the journey, and you know, with the intention of allowing me to heal from this massive trauma, and you know that's the thing about. Trauma is, yes, the death itself was terrible and devastating.

Speaker 2:

But, it's all of the other things around it. It's having to talk to my children about their brother dying. It's, you know, losing a child and then having to plan a funeral service, leaking body fluid, trying to dry up the milk. That pain was so bad, you know, and I'm hugging all these people and trying to like put an arm and hug you know. So I'm trying. I had a fourth degree tear. I, you know, it was just like pain after pain, after pain after pain, you know, telling the grandparents watching his great grandmother sing to him. You know, in the funeral home before we had him cremated, just all of these memories, the smells, you know you've got, I've got hospital smells witch hazel, because I was like putting witch hazel on that fourth degree tear like nobody's business, so that smell of witch hazel, you know. So there was just all of these layers of those hurts and so when I looked at the psychedelics it was like, okay, this can allow me to actually move through all of that and find that peace, find what his purpose was.

Speaker 2:

Because I do believe in my heart of hearts that we know ahead of time, every, we have everything planned out. We have soul contracts. We know how long we're gonna be here. We know who we're marrying. We know who our children are gonna be. Same thing for our children. So, you know, I see my husband and I as the conduit for these children. We're not in charge of them, they are their own souls. And so, you know, bodhi fulfilled his purpose in those nine months of being in my belly. But what was that? Why did he come and why was it only for such a short time? And you know, working through guilt and regret and just all of those emotions on the other side of that too.

Speaker 1:

So Bodhi is my brother's name.

Speaker 2:

Oh really, oh, my goodness.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm so. I'm very sorry about your loss by the way, thank you.

Speaker 3:

Thank you, I don't think. A lot of people, okay. So I was hearing you say you know, talking about the witch hazel being triggering and the smell of hospitals being triggering, and how many other kids did you say you have Three, three other kids. Okay, I'm thinking about this because they say you know, trauma isn't what happened to you, it's what happened inside of you during that time.

Speaker 3:

So I'm like thinking you know, I've had three kids like the smell of hospitals. You've been in hospitals before. The smell of hospitals probably was never a trigger for you before, but for this situation this time, those things that were happening around you all get like stuck in your memory.

Speaker 2:

You know, yep, mm-hmm. So yeah, and that's exactly it, you know well. So two of my children were NICU babies and even just going to that so that was a separate hospital and going to that floor, like I would feel that in my hips and in my low back when I would, you know, go to that elevator and go to that particular floor, and then the same thing happened. So we were actually a planned home birth and then we transferred to the hospital and he died on the way to the hospital, and so I was not planning on seeing an OB, but then having to follow up with that OB, and so then when I went there, so I just donated a kidney to my dad too, so that I'm like four weeks out from that.

Speaker 1:

Oh my goodness, like just now, so I had to yes, like just now, I'm still recovering.

Speaker 2:

So I had to go, because when you donate a kidney they do like every testing under the sun to make sure you're healthy enough to do that. And so I had to go to, you know, get the pap and the mammogram and all that kind of stuff. And I walked into that office and the last time I had been there was the one week follow-up after Bode had died, and I just felt that wave of just heat and sadness and anger and just everything just kind of just washed through me and you know you had to swallow it down while I was there. But yeah, the body holds onto that. I would have never consciously said oh, when I walk into Steve the doctor's office I'm gonna for sure feel this. But my body remembered and that all happened.

Speaker 3:

So yeah, so the medicine helped assist you in. I guess it helped assist you in the why, like your journey was about finding meaning or purpose in that, or was it about really just trying to move through that grief?

Speaker 2:

Both, I would definitely say both. I think it allowed me to, yeah, see what the possibilities could be as to why he would have such a short life and what that meant for me moving forward, what it meant for my husband, you know, for a family, and it allowed me to then heal. So in the book that I'm writing I talk about the actual deaths, but also death of self, and the death of self are basically the self-imposed limits that I put on myself throughout my life, and so I feel like his death, the plant medicine, the other tools that I used, allowed that final falling away. So they had been slowly kind of moving away.

Speaker 2:

When my college boyfriend died, when my brother died, when my uncle died you know all of that stuff, it brings that all to the surface. You know you can turn it inward and berate and belittle yourself. You can turn it outward and anger. You know there's so many ways that it can become toxic. But with Bodhi's death and then the plant medicine, it was like, okay, all right, so like I need to just let go of questioning signs and symbols and synchronicities. I need to let go of thinking that I'm not good enough. I need to let go of putting limits on my business. I need to let go of worrying what other people think.

Speaker 2:

So is that kind of final falling away that both of those things really allowed for me? So, yes, it was the blessing, the purpose. But also on the other side, like, okay, what does this mean for me moving forward, because I'm still here, so there's still more that I need to do, because I do think I could have probably checked out with him. I definitely had a lot of complications, and so I think that was a possibility on the table, but I stayed. So now I got to get my act together and figure out what I need to do with all of this. Yeah, wow.

Speaker 1:

Is I'm gonna ask a parenting question, because we do have listeners who have lost a child and what the process was for you trying to help your children, your family, your husband too, with their grief, while also like having your own grief.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that's our situation is a little bit different. So my kids were, so it'll be two years on December 6th, so they were six, eight and 12. So even at that age, I still feel like pregnancy is pretty abstract, like obviously they're seeing my belly grow and they have other siblings, other cousins, so they know that there's a baby that comes at the end. But he was never here and so it was. I almost feel like I've had to navigate, acknowledging his existence without traumatizing them more, like you need to like no, you have three brothers, no, there's four children, and not making it about him or me or those kinds of things, but yet still holding space and honoring that he is their sibling. He did exist, but in our family we are pretty open and spiritual and talk about death and talk about the other side and our beliefs around that. So I think that's the biggest thing.

Speaker 2:

And for us, our particular issue was that our six year old got a lot of anxiety after them and so his worry was well. So he would cry and say what if something happens to you? And data, I would really miss you. What if something happens to me? I don't know, I don't remember what it's like on the other side and so, like those were the themes that would just come up for him.

Speaker 2:

And so I can't make false promises, because there's been so many people that have died in my life young, so I can't say like, well, we're gonna live long lives, because I've heard that before. And I'm like, well, you don't know that, so don't do that, or people can decide how they handle things. But for me I said we don't know, tomorrow is not guaranteed, so let's have as much fun as we can have today, let's hug and give kisses and play and go outside and do all of the things that we can do today, and that way we are just living our best lives every single day. And so that's kind of how we focused in on it and really try to honor him by having more fun and coming together and then also just not making. For me it was important to not make false promises, because I don't know when my time is gonna be up too, so does that make sense? Absolutely.

Speaker 3:

I think that that is I don't know. I'm finding myself having like more realistic approaches with my kids and their anxieties and their fears, and I think the version, the mother that I was four years ago even would handle situations very different than I do now. My daughter has anxiety. She's a gymnast, she talks about it sometimes and the way that I talk to her about it is I'm more understand, I understand it more. Like I had anxiety four years ago but I didn't know how to deal with it and so I don't know. I think that like there is a part of healing that comes when you're a parent where you are able to help your children deal with these nuanced feelings and things that they're gonna always have to deal with. I think it's very unrealistic to say you're never gonna have anxiety and you're never gonna lose anybody and everything's gonna be fine, like you're setting them up for I mean just failure, because they're gonna have it and then they're gonna think there's something wrong with them, you know.

Speaker 2:

Yes, exactly exactly.

Speaker 2:

And that was important to me because I feel like that was one thing that happened to me, or one of the beliefs that I needed to let go of was that if I was a good person, the good things would happen to me, and I think it was a religious belief somewhere along the way, like that if you pray hard enough, that if you do enough good things, that your life is gonna be quote unquote good, and so that was one of those unpacking things where it was like no, actually like very terrible things can happen to very wonderful people. And so, you know, moving through that and, yeah, like letting them build resilience around, anxiety is real, depression is real, trauma is real, but what do we do with it? We don't have to stay there. We can honor it, we can feel our feelings, we can acknowledge it, but let's not stay in it forever, and so I think that's kind of how I look at it and try to help my kids through that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, how has plant medicine changed the way that you parent, do you think?

Speaker 2:

Oh gosh, yeah, so I am. My nickname in college was no Fun Olenna, which is not fair because I was very fun, but at one time.

Speaker 2:

I didn't wanna go out, but there was definitely like an undercurrent of truth to that where I was like the very serious, very like we're gonna get in trouble. We can't do that. You know, we need to clean the house, we need to do basically our chores before we can go out and do fun things. And that wasn't just in college, that was my whole life and I mean I still struggle with that particular thing. But I think the plant medicine helped me. But go with some of that, because that was just self-imposed expectations, like nobody actually cares if my house is messy, except for me. Nobody actually cares if my car is cleaned out and if they do, oh well, like that's their problem, you know.

Speaker 2:

So it has allowed me to just be more fun and go more places and kind of just let loose to where it's like, oh yeah, like going paddle boarding is way more important than getting the yard cleaned up. We can do the yard later or tomorrow and yeah. So I think that's the biggest thing and I've always tried to see the beauty in everything. But I think plant medicine really opened my eyes to very nuanced beauty. I was joking, I sent a message to my friend the other day and I was like I gotta stop microdosing during fall because it's just too beautiful. I can't take it. It's so pretty.

Speaker 2:

Like taking videos of the trees and the leaves, and.

Speaker 1:

I really need to stop microdosing, because this is magnificent and it's a problem. It's distracting.

Speaker 3:

I call it like the Instagram filter for life.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes.

Speaker 3:

But it's not a filter. You're seeing what's actually there. It's almost like you're taking the filter away, so you can see the actual beauty of it.

Speaker 2:

But that's so funny and I think that's your. Yeah, those synapses open so you can see more nuanced color and you can appreciate it more, because you're not just in this constant whirlwind of chaos.

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, have you and your husband done plant medicine together, or has it just been like a solo journey for you?

Speaker 2:

Yes, we have done it together and, yeah, I would like to do it again because I was kind of more it was his first time, so I was more worried about him than being focused on my journey, so I would like to do that again.

Speaker 3:

We just haven't done that yet, but yes, we keep trying, like my husband and I have three kids too, so like trying to find like a night or a weekend where we don't have them. Like he's done three separate journeys, I've done four separate journeys and we're like next time we need to do it together. But yeah, it's like we both needed to be comfortable with it first before doing it. At the same time, I kind of wanted to piggyback on what we were just talking about, like the beauty in everything. I've been listening to this podcast series lately about the most important aspects of healthy mental health, like good, having good mental health, and two of the most important things is agency and gratitude. And if you can have a sense of agency and gratitude, you are like better off than most people who don't have those things already. And the whole gratitude thing Like my kids were making fun of me yesterday because we were driving and I have like a car thing that holds my phone.

Speaker 3:

I was recording the sunset while I was driving and I'm like do you guys see this? How gorgeous? And they're like okay, mom, in the middle of recording it, my husband is like two hours away, sends me a photo of the sunset and I'm like shut up, I am literally dying at the sunset right now and he's like, oh, you see it too. But it's just those little moments of like gratitude for being alive and being able to witness that and having this, like realization that like you're so small in the grand scheme of things, you know, yeah, my kids think I'm crazy.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, see, it'll shift. Though, because now my kids are like mom, go look at the sunrise, mama go look at the sunrise. They're like did you see the rainbow, or you know. So they're pointing out things to me now. But yeah, when my kids were little, my husband worked away and lived away, and so in the summer I was like, okay, we got to get out of this house and so we started hiking and we committed to one day a week, every week of the summer, and you know. So I think my kids have actually been the ones that like, slowed me down because I'm more of like okay, we're gonna do 10 miles today, and so we got to get our butts in gear and, you know, get this far instead of slowing down and enjoying the process of. Obviously, we didn't do 10 miles when my kids were little, but we were lucky if we made it too.

Speaker 2:

And then they were the ones looking at the drops of water on the leaves or strapping to see, you know, pick up rocks or pick up a cool stick, and so it's been a really neat back and forth of that. But yeah, my husband will send me sunrise and sunset pictures. He picks up feathers for me, all of those things that I've now infused to all of the people around me too. So it's fun.

Speaker 3:

Like think about that, how like kids just instinctively have, like we've learned so much from our kids and that like idea of slowing down goes so long in so many aspects across life. Because it's like it's not about the destination, Like yeah, if we do this two mile hike there's a waterfall at the end of it, but like, if you're slowing down, it's the journey of that two miles where you're like, oh, look at this caterpillar, oh, look at this leaf. I think so often like parents are rushed like come on, we gotta get to the end, Come on, we gotta the waterfall is at the end and they're missing all those little things in between.

Speaker 3:

Such a metaphor for life.

Speaker 2:

It is.

Speaker 2:

It's such a metaphor for life and I think that's the one neat thing about the plant medicine, too, is that we were just talking about this.

Speaker 2:

The person that and I that lead or help people, integrate their journeys and do the music, and all of that we will see in the physical world, manifested whatever happened in the journey. So my life has been insane the last couple of months and like just so busy, and one of the journeys that I did before like things were like next level busy was to slow down, get more connected, be more present, be more aware. And I go to fold up my chair at the end and there's a snail sitting underneath my chair and I was like, oh my gosh, that was like my whole journey was about connecting with my ancestors and slowing down. And then there's a snail right there, and snails are not common in our area. It's not like, you know, there's snails everywhere or anything like that. So, yeah, that was a wild thing and it was that, yeah, like slow down, take it all in. And it has been an important message for me because I did a big trip and then I had this surgery, so I've had to slow down.

Speaker 1:

So I love that, I love that. So I kind of want to go back to the past life regression Cause I don't think a lot of people know what that means. I'm still unsure, cause I've never done a reading before or a session. I don't know how you say it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I actually offer both. So the session and I'll let you ask your question but the session is where what I call a session is where the client goes back into the lifetime and goes back through the practical stuff and the forgiveness, important events, all of the healing, the purpose for that lifetime, people that might be from that lifetime that are in their current life, all of those kinds of things. The reading is where I use cards and we talk about maybe one or maybe three past lives and I'm actually telling the person about that and how it's correlating to their current life.

Speaker 1:

So there are kind of two separate ways.

Speaker 3:

So there is a different. Educate us. Yeah, love this.

Speaker 1:

So and again I'm going to go back again to with the hypnotherapy, like I think that that's something that I would be interested in, but is there anybody that wouldn't be a good candidate for it? Or you think everyone.

Speaker 2:

I think everybody can benefit. If somebody has a lower IQ, that is going to be a rule out. If somebody has psychosis like real deal, hallucinations, delusions, then that would not be a good fit for people. I do have people that have struggled with that. But we do more of relaxation, sound healing, those types of things, because I do have the therapy background so I can handle that. But we just don't do the past lives and that kind of stuff.

Speaker 1:

Okay.

Speaker 2:

How did you?

Speaker 1:

get into this space. How did you like start on your healing journey and become a-?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, oh goodness. Okay so because I've been writing my memoir, it's like all here in the forefront. Yes, so I have always had the ability to see dead people. So when I was little I saw my sister who had died and my aunt who had died. But I didn't know, I didn't understand, and I grew up very Catholic. So that stuff is usually very frowned upon in that religion.

Speaker 1:

Can I ask what you mean by you saw them.

Speaker 2:

Like we would be at my grandma's house and they would just be there. Like you know, they were just part of like it was. You know all the aunts and uncles and all the cousins, so they're part of the family and they were just there too.

Speaker 1:

So were you like mom, dad, anybody see this?

Speaker 2:

No, there was something within me that just was like oh they're just here, like it didn't seem odd or off to me, and I was little, little like four and I actually just came across a video where it was my great grandma's 100th birthday. So my uncle had rented a video camera, rented it.

Speaker 3:

Oh my gosh, back in the day it was video.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Like he wanted to interview her and then walked around and there was a video and the things that I was seeing. I was like, oh yeah, that was when it was like very prevalent for me, because I was talking about stuff that a normal quote, unquote, normal four year old would just not be able to like connect or put together. But then that all. So my grandma was very Catholic but also got her tea leaves, read, you know very Catholic, prayed the Novinas but went and saw mediums and things. So I kind of grew up with both things and I wasn't particularly into it. It was just something that I knew about and then kind of just like shut that all down for the most part.

Speaker 2:

But in college my college boyfriend died in a car accident and after his so I was in England when he died and things started happening right away, like the signs and the symbols and the synchronicities and they're like mind blowing, and so that started opening me back up to like, okay, there's like more. He didn't just go away, like he's still trying to let me know, he's here. And then in 2007, my brother died, and so when he died, that was when it all like we went to Lillydale to see mediums. We had mediums coming to my mom's house. He died by suicide and so there was just so much extra emotion that came in with that that we were. It was kind of that same thing where we're looking for things to help us feel better, to soothe all of those hurts, and so, you know, just opening back up to that, that allowed me to start to open up my gifts again, and so and I actually don't know how I found the training, what I've come to, because it was before Google existed. You know, back in the olden days.

Speaker 3:

We're in our 20s, guys, just for the record. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So I think it must have been an advertisement in the back of a magazine. Do you remember how they used to do? Yes, there was, like you know like you know, yeah classifies or yeah, yeah so.

Speaker 2:

So the lady lived in the Midwest but then she taught down in Sedona and I didn't even know what Sedona was, I had no clue, I didn't know any of that kind of that stuff at that time and went down there and did that training and it just like blew my mind. I just blew my mind. So that was when I really got into just that there is way more to life than what we can see with our physical eyes and what we, what most of us, believe to be true. And just allow me to just keep opening up to those possibilities and I think that's the plant medicine too, you know, 16 years later from when that all started and 20 years from when my college, you know, like all of those things just keep allowing me to expand, keep allowing me to grow and see more and more possibilities.

Speaker 3:

So Wow, what a gift. I know it's like that I wish I had. I want to see dead people, the whole like synchronicity thing. You know that's been happening to me a lot over the last few years, but we've talked about this in our last episode. That just dropped about how, like, until you're really open to that, you don't pay attention to those little signs and those little synchronicities and I'm just going to say this because I need to put this on record.

Speaker 3:

Before you got here this morning, christine, I was Googling Bodhi trees. Oh, you said you're. I swear I can show you right now my Google history because I was learning about, like, the lotus at the bottom of the Bodhi tree and how Buddha like sat there for 49 hours and meditated and that was the significance of the Bodhi tree and it's like supposed to be the tree of life.

Speaker 2:

I'm like, oh my gosh, I have so many children.

Speaker 3:

That's the first time you said Bodhi, and then you said your brother's name was Bodhi and I'm sitting here like I'm, like, oh, I'm so excited. Literally, because I'm like this is wild.

Speaker 1:

We were meant to interview you today, I know for sure.

Speaker 3:

So talk about signs.

Speaker 2:

Wow, that is amazing. I love that. So was your brother named Bodhi from like, how does he spell it? B O D I? Okay, so I went with the B O D H I for short for the Bodhi Satva from Buddhism. But then also do you remember the 90s movie Point Break with Patrick's baby? His name was Bodhi and I always love that name. And then I like it all just like clicked during that pregnancy and I was like, oh my gosh, this is our name. And my husband was like I don't know. And then when he died he was like, what was that name that you wanted?

Speaker 1:

So, yeah, I love, I was going to name my son Bodhi actually.

Speaker 3:

Oh my gosh, but I didn't.

Speaker 1:

I didn't go with it. I went, I went with Kai, but yeah, that was no that either. Yeah, it was going to be Bodhi or Kai, and we went with Kai.

Speaker 3:

So we were meant to.

Speaker 2:

those are both great names today this is amazing.

Speaker 3:

Okay, let's talk about your book.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, your memoir.

Speaker 2:

Yes, okay, yeah, so I feel like I have a different view of death and what it means for us. I work with a lot of people that are in grief and really traumatized by grief, and grief can be the. You know the deaths that we experienced, but also what we thought our life was going to be like, what we thought our career was going to be like. You know just all of these different things. And so you know, and sitting with people over these 20 plus years of my mental health career, there's so many different avenues of grief. But then you know, throughout my lifetime and experiencing all of these different deaths, and looking at that and being able to start to see, like, okay, so you know when, when Mike died, I could start to see the signs and the symbols and the synchronicities I could. You know he was like all in, he was the life of the party, so that let me go of worrying about what other people thought about me. And then when my brother died, you know he was a kid at heart, and so I talk about the inner child healing in his chapter and how important that was, and so what I've done is told the story of my time with them and then the blessing or the lesson that they brought to my life and then also the tools that came out of each of their losses. And so you know, for, like I was saying for my brother, it's that inner child healing.

Speaker 2:

For my cousin Mike, it was about gratitude. He was a doctor and that was my background, or that was my intention growing up, and he helped pave the way, like he, you know, told me where to go for undergrad, and then we talked about medical school. He got me this amazing internship and that I don't think I told him enough how grateful I was for his guidance throughout my lifetime. And he was a man of faith and his family meant everything to him and I never expressed that. And we know from the research how important gratitude is.

Speaker 2:

And so that's the tool at the end of that chapter of sit and think about who is important to you and what you need to say to them and want to say to them. And if they're in spirit, then say it to their soul. If they're in real life, then give them the letter or have the conversation with them. With my grandma we get into intergenerational healing because, you know, traumas can be passed down through the generations, but gifts can also be passed down through the generation, so we touch on that. Yeah, it's really. It's an interesting book.

Speaker 3:

It's really good and like there's so many different tools.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think, you know, even if somebody's not into mediumship or plant medicine, then they can focus on the gratitude and nature, and you know. So there's going to be. Music is in there as well, and so there's going to be tools that resonate with different people. And the stories are good stories. I mean, yeah, they're my stories, but I think that we all have a story to tell, and I love hearing people's stories. So I think, in sharing mine, that starts to give other people permission to share theirs too.

Speaker 1:

Well, and I think that when you know people are brave enough to share their, their stories and and their trauma and their trials and tribulations, people see themselves in those stories and they relate to it and you know your story is going to give people hope and so it's going to you know. So I think. I think that's great. So what is your memoir called? When is it going to be out? Are there any details like that that you can say?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I don't know when it's going to be out, probably about six months. It does take time, even once it's submitted you know editing and there's just so many steps to it. But it is going to be called blessed by death. So it's a kind of like really wanting to shift the narrative around death and what it means for us and what we can do with that journey. And it's not easy. None of this is easy, but I don't think that it's necessarily meant to be. It's meant to be like we were just talking about the journey along the way. There's not an end goal. It's choosing every day what you're going to do for yourself and do for the people around you.

Speaker 3:

We were talking yesterday. There are like three type of people. Was it yesterday or the day before, I don't know? There was a post from like the holistic psychiatrist, psychologist, psychologist, whatever her name is her Instagram page where she talks about how it's incredibly hard. Healing is incredibly hard and it's not meant for everybody and not everybody is capable, and literally the one comment that stuck out was somebody saying like what did he say?

Speaker 1:

She said yeah, it's too hard.

Speaker 3:

That's why I'm always going to be like this. It's just kind of like the yeah, so I'm just stuck being depressed because that should too hard. So we were like I feel like there's three types of people. There are the people who get stuck in that and they have no awareness that there is a way out. And then there are the people who know there's a way out but they're like fuck it, it's too hard, I can't. And then there are other people who are like okay, there's a way out, I'm going to find it, I'm going to do this.

Speaker 2:

It is and then they also turn around and then help other people along with them.

Speaker 3:

Yes, those are the people who are in the arena, and I think that anybody who's doing this work knows and recognizes when other people are. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

What is so? I guess what would be a piece of advice for somebody who is grieving the loss of a loved one To continue to move forward.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think the biggest thing is redefining that relationship. So a big piece of my practice in the grief aspect is helping people connect with their loved ones again, and it's not about me giving messages. It's for me to allow them the space to reconnect with them and for them to have that conversation. So a lot of times there's forgiveness. Human life is not simple, and so there's going to be hurts and there's going to be heartache along the way, and sometimes we get the chance to say those things and sometimes we don't. And so opening up that space for people to have that soul to soul communication and connection is really vital and important, and that's something that people can do on their own.

Speaker 2:

I have a meditation, a guided meditation, to meet a loved one in spirit, but it can just be sitting in your favorite spot outside and slowing down and getting connected and having that communication so that you can forgive them, they can forgive you, you can forgive yourself, most of all for the things that happened either during the lifetime or around the death itself.

Speaker 2:

And then I think just and this says a lot about the life this isn't meant to sound that way, but accepting it, accepting that this is what it is, because I think sometimes when we're pushing against it being the reality, being the truth, then that hurts even more. So it's OK, this happened. Now how do I still maintain a relationship with them? Do I want to talk to them every day, do I want to write a letter to them? Do I want to go see somebody that helps me connect to them, but not just thinking that this is the end and I know everybody has different religious beliefs and spiritual beliefs and all of those kinds of things. But for me it's not just here and now. It's so much more expansive than what we can see with our eyes right here, right now.

Speaker 3:

The meditation that you were just talking about. Is that something that you offer, or is it like a meditation that you go to?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's for free on Spotify. It's something that can also be purchased too. I send journal questions if they purchase it. It's on Spotify for free, though, too.

Speaker 3:

OK, awesome, We'll have to drop that link. Yeah, for sure, and for our listeners, the services that you offer you're so expansive, Like there's, like. I feel like this is like I've never.

Speaker 3:

I am not experiencing grief, but I feel like I can use you in so many ways, and I don't mean that and this is how I'm like, let me use you. You could be an incredible tool for a lot of things for me as well, but what all are the? I mean we'll obviously put a link, but like, what are some of the things that you can help with people even if they're not going through a grieving process?

Speaker 2:

Oh, yeah, I have grief, or grief sessions are a small piece of the practice. But yeah, I mean anybody that has any physical, mental, spiritual, emotional pain, which is basically all of us, everybody, yeah, everybody. I do think that everybody can benefit what I offer. I just know I'm not for everyone and that's OK, but yeah. So sometimes I help people work through religious trauma, anxiety. We, if people are interested in past life regression, we can do those sessions.

Speaker 2:

I do a lot of the mind-body connection. So people that have chronic migraines or stomach issues or low back pain, that they've done all of the things and they can't quite figure out what's going on, sometimes we need to get in there and see what the body needs, to let us know what we've tucked away in those spaces, in those places. So the mind-body connection is a big one that I help a lot of people with. But just hypnosis is very relaxing, it's very soothing, so it's kind of just also allowing us to de-stress, to get out of our own way, allowing us to let go of the ways we self-sabotage, to let go of the ways that we are hurting our children. You know, like when we're not healed, that spews out on the people around us, and so I help people work through triggers and anger and fear and all of those emotions that can bubble up, that are necessary but don't need to be with us forever and ever.

Speaker 3:

So many things.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so many things. There are so many.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and what is? How can they reach you? How can they find you for anybody who's not going to look at the bio?

Speaker 2:

Everything is celebrate every step, so my website is celebrate every step. Facebook, instagram, tiktok I'm not I'm not great at all of those kinds of things, but I'm still there somewhat and I have an email list, so I send out my emails every other week, and then I also have a podcast too, so it's also celebrate every step. So, yeah, that's pretty easy to find.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for coming on.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, thank you so much.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Thank you for having me. This was. I was so excited to do this because I think it's important for people to know that professional put together middle-aged moms the plant medicine can be very helpful and expansive for so many different people in so many different walks of life, and it is something that a lot of people don't understand. So I like to get that message out there and answer those questions and dispel the myths and the fears around that too. So just thank you for this opportunity. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for helping break the stigma. Thank you for sharing your story, sharing your losses.

Speaker 3:

I'll be looking forward to the book.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

I'm the book I dive in. I dive all in, so I'm excited for that.

Speaker 1:

And when that is out, let us know, so then we can share that with our listeners too.

Speaker 2:

Okay yeah, thank you.

Speaker 3:

Definitely All right, elena. Thank you so much and for all of our listeners. We will see you guys on the other side.

People on this episode

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Christine

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Leah

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